I have not been good at getting up early in years. It's part of my personality. Unlike doing the thing I am doing in the moment and don't want to stop. That makes me late for the next thing. And on, and on and on. I go to bed late bc I want to do things. I like sleep, I don't want to get up.
But with my anxiety about illness has come a whole new layer of this: I am afraid to get up bc I am afraid of what the day will bring. I am avoiding some tasks. I am afraid of who will get sick. Maybe I am even afraid of who is going to need me, and for what. This last thought really stings, bc now I am also afraid of the future, afraid of not being needed...
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